Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Slim Pickins

31 and single. And here is a brief history, in dialogue, of why that might be:

Me: I believe that marriage can be a beautiful thing, where two individuals come together because they are destined to teach each other karmic lessons of love...
Man: Yeah I know what you mean...I've noticed couples start looking like each other after a few years of marriage.
Me: Why can't we go out for dinners and movies in public like normal couples do?
Man: Because I'm your boss and I say so. And listen, I want that 'How Cement Mixers Work' script on my desk by five.
Me: My favourite part of a man's body? His eyes.
Man (Well...boy, really. He was 16): What colour?
Man: A writer for TV, huh?
Me: Yup!
Man: Saas-bahu serials?
Me: Non fiction.
Man: But why not? I watch those serials all the time, they're great.
Me: Remember that awesome conversation we had about life, love, feelings, emotions and puppies?
Man: Yeaahhhh...
Me: So...when I told you how I felt, what did you think about it?
Man: Dunno man, don't remember. Had some brilliant maal man...
Me: But I told you important stuff about me and you!!!
Man: Sorry man...drag?
Me: Hullo?
Man: Hey!!! Where you at?
Me: Ummm...I'm with AnotherMan.
Man: Faaaccck!!!
Me: Are you drunk?
Man: Fuck man, I love you man. I just love you. But I tell you, man...I gotta tell you this...
Me: Yes?
Man: Don't ever fall in love with me, ok? It'll ruin everything.
Man: Gotta light?
Me: Nope.
Man: Go ask that other dude for a light, no. Here, take the cigarette. Go light it.
Me: Ok.
(Cigarette lit, triumphant return)
Man: Fuck! That guy didn't even look at you once.
Man: Writer for TV, huh?
Me: Yup!
Man: You know, you should do an MBA.
Me: If you want us to have a future then I don't want to hear about other women ever again.
Man: You mean you don't want me to tell you?
Me: No, I mean NO OTHER WOMEN if you want to continue with me.
Man: Yeah...about that...I don't think so.
Man: How much money you got in your account?
Me: Errr...don't remember...
Man: Let's go to the ATM and check it out.

(Doomed to a life with cats or bullets dodged? - who knows....)

1 comment:

  1. This reminds me of a lot of persons - some are 31, female and single!