Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Lines blur

I've always had trouble with reality. Not with accepting it, but in telling it apart from the movies running inside my head (soundtrack and all). Things are said to me, they pass through a wispy filter and reach my insides in an entirely different way from what was intended. Events happen and are fashioned by my neurons into an entirely distinct (often fantastical) story in my head. My emotions attach themselves to words and gestures rather whimsically, attributing new meanings to what's just occurred.
It makes for great parties in my head - celebrations that go on for days and weeks.
But invariably, there a comes a point when I'm forced to confront how the outside doesn't match the drama inside, there is a rude awakening and I'm left in a vacuum.

I want things to change. I'm not sure if I can completely revoke my citizenship of Lalaland or even if I really want to (especially since I've lately met wonderful people who've got permanent resident status there) but here's what I would really like to do: I'd like to build a railway system, something like the Samjhauta Express (perfect name too) that can, at regular & timely intervals allow me to cross the border & journey into reality. I'd like to purchase a lifetime pass on this train (first class only) and effortlessly navigate between the colourful carnival inside and the more utilitarian world outside.
I'd like a tour guide to travel with me, someone who can tell me which stations are worth getting off at, how long to stay at each stop before climbing back on the train again and whom to visit while I'm there.

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