Happy Republic Day (or the Justice Verma Committee Report)

 The constitutional guarantee of the right to equality....

(Urgency of response) from everyone in the world except those who are supposed to act on it....

If the politicians and others don't see the writing on the wall....the people of this country, particularly the youth, will not forgive them...

If there is a murderer or rapist, do you think he's going to support a law that culls murder or rape?....

(Swearing into public office of Himachal Pradesh leader accused of murder of Dalit woman) An affront to the dignity of the people of India...

In 29 days....if we could gear up a bunch of youngsters to help us, the government with all its might & infrastructure if it can't do that, it would be exposing itself to the criticism of lack of capacity to govern...

For anyone to think that sexual assault would in anyway be associated with the performance of any official task, well, needs to think again....there is something radically wrong with that thinking....

If the DGPs (Director-Generals of Police) didn't respond...thinking they are insulting me or my committee, they are living in a make believe world because it goes to show their apathy to their duty....and the issue of gender justice, which is the constitutional right of every woman in the country...

If there are such insensitive people to this important cause holding the highest office, a serious, prompt review of each of them is required....

Talking about police (and electoral) reforms - isn't it related to gender issues? Anyone who says we exceeded the brief must be having a very narrow vision...

****************

Sometimes, when someone in a place of authority speaks simply & logically, the supreme-level bullshit rhetoric and dangerous platitudes offered to us by others suddenly become exposed and we're reminded that we can't afford to get tied up in knots anymore.

http://www.ndtv.com/video/player/your-call/no-response-from-those-meant-to-act-on-my-report-says-justice-verma/263015

Technology Down

Three years ago, when I'd just signed up on Twitter, the site went down. In a moment of bitchiness, I composed a tweet that was ready and waiting for when service would be restored: "Don't panic. Twitter will soon be up and we can all go back to our jobs at CERN."

Today Google went down for a bit. No Gmail, no nothing and I panicked. Because I...ahem...had to get back to a job at CERN.

By some twist of fate (an enterprising boss and a lot of swotting) yours truly, who has yet to miss a single episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, is going to be at CERN this time, next week.

Career high. Showing Off. Hell yeah.

A year and month to the day...

...the same dream, with the same intensity and the same sense of utter desolation.
I have just found out I'm dying of a disease that is slowly, but with great precision, vapourizing my insides. I am destined for death.
It is perpetually night in this dream, as I wander the hallways of this mansion that's supposed to be my home. There is no one here but me and two others - hired to be caretakers, but otherwise unrecognizable. They provide me with my basic needs - food, clean sheets and a kindly hello once in a while. Time is running out and I stumble from one room to the next, searching for a familiar face, someone who can hold me through the days I have left. But my body is continually weakening and getting progressively bent with each passing minute.
Like the first time, this dream too seemed to go on forever. I couldn't wake from it, I couldn't end the wandering. I found nothing, I just got weaker.
This time, it was too close to home. Just too close.

Dying

Last night I dreamed I was dying. Not fast and painlessly, but slow. I'd just found out that cancer was ravaging my cells and that my body was gradually, yet uncontrollably, heading towards its own destruction.
It was a long dream, it went on for hours. I walked around the city, unrecognizable, barren and desolate, weeping desperately. I had friends around me - no one I recognized but people who said they loved me. I had a week left to live.
All I knew in this dream was: I want to live, I want to live, I want to live. I want to experience love, I want to give and receive it. It's the one thing I have not done in this life near enough and I can't leave without.
Yet, what do you do when something beyond your control is eating away at you, regardless of what your desires may be?...
Not a fun dream, I can tell you that much.

Lines blur

I've always had trouble with reality. Not with accepting it, but in telling it apart from the movies running inside my head (soundtrack and all). Things are said to me, they pass through a wispy filter and reach my insides in an entirely different way from what was intended. Events happen and are fashioned by my neurons into an entirely distinct (often fantastical) story in my head. My emotions attach themselves to words and gestures rather whimsically, attributing new meanings to what's just occurred.

It makes for great parties in my head - celebrations that go on for days and weeks.
But invariably, there a comes a point when I'm forced to confront how the outside doesn't match the drama inside, there is a rude awakening and I'm left in a vacuum.

I want things to change. I'm not sure if I can completely revoke my citizenship of Lalaland or even if I really want to (especially since I've lately met wonderful people who've got permanent resident status there) but here's what I would really like to do: I'd like to build a railway system, something like the Samjhauta Express (perfect name too) that can, at regular & timely intervals allow me to cross the border & journey into reality. I'd like to purchase a lifetime pass on this train (first class only) and effortlessly navigate between the colourful carnival inside and the more utilitarian world outside.
I'd like a tour guide to travel with me, someone who can tell me which stations are worth getting off at, how long to stay at each stop before climbing back on the train again and whom to visit while I'm there.

Recurring Dream

I have a recurring dream, where I'm either at the airport or making my way there, extremely excited because I'm taking a flight out to Anywhere-But-Here.
However, each and every time my best laid plans are thwarted due to some silly reason or the other. Either I've left my passport at home, or I lose my luggage, or I go the bathroom just before the flight's supposed to take off and I miss it. Once, I missed my flight because I forgot to pack underwear & decided to go home to get some. I thought I'd make it back in time. I didn't.
It is the MOST frustrating dream one could have - worse than being chased by wild animals or being stuck in a burning building or hiding from terrorists (all of which used to be recurring dreams but then stopped for some reason) - because I can almost taste the freedom of getting way, I can feel the promise of something new on my skin...and then I get left behind.

Perhaps this has something to do with my grandmother. She built a house for herself by the sea. She spent her whole retirement gathering things to decorate her house with. She did it up, furnished it from top to bottom - all for that day when she would move triumphantly into the apartment she'd built with her entire life's savings. Then a few days before she was supposed to move in bag and baggage, she had a massive heart attack and died.

The other night, I told you this story of my grandmother's passing. Just as I was getting to its moral for me ("Don't just spend all your time & energy planning. Learn when to take the plunge."), you say - "It sounds like your grandmother was really happy when she died...knowing that she'd realised her biggest dream."
As I looked at you, I felt a release. I laughed, then you did and we both couldn't stop for the longest time.

Perhaps because my flight had taken off the runway and I was finally on it.